#017 Thailand Update: Let’s All Go To The Beach

Okay, I have one update to get three jam-packed days worth of activities written. Can I do it? Let’s hope so. I’ll start it on the ride home Monday and hopefully finish it on the ride in Tuesday. That should give me enough time to something worthwhile. Let’s float all the way through Friday and start at Friday evening. Look how good I did that one, huh?

The Art of the Dance
I decide that Friday night I’m taking my wife on a date. Figuring out where to take her was quite a challenge. I have a hard enough time in the US, and now I have to be creative in a foreign country. I decide on taking to the restaurant that’s at the top of the tallest building in Thailand. That would be pretty cool, plus it would have nice views of the city. I tell Boonchan, and he says there’s a lot of traffic getting there. No thank you. Need something a little closer to home that will still be interesting. I finally decide on Silom Village and the Thai Dancing show. I call up Wanphen to see if she can help me arrange dinner. She is unable to setup the reservations, so I get my first introduction into the difference between a Thai price and a Farang (foreigner) price. For a Thai, it is very cheap to see the show, but for a Farang, we have to pay quite a bit. I don’t normally have a problem with this, since we are tourists, but if I can get Thai pricing, I’ll usually try. Unfortunately, Wanphen was unable to get through to reservations, so we paid the Farang price.

The show depicts traditional Thai dancing and uses traditional Thai musical instruments. It’s actually very nice to see. It is difficult to describe in words. You need to see pictures. I didn’t bring my camera with me to the show, but through my magical digital time machine, I can show you pictures from a previous time that I went there. Everything is exactly the same; only the dancers have aged by about 6 months. Livonia and I got a picture together with a couple of the dancers. Maybe I’ll take a picture of that with my digital camera so you can see it. That was a relaxing time, but not near as relaxing as what we did after the show.

A Foot Massage… and More
After Silom Village, I try to find a place to get a foot massage… for my wife. Of course, while we’re there I’ll get one myself, but it’s primarily for the wife. Do you believe me?

The first place we go to is closing at 10pm, and it’s already 9:15pm. For a one hour massage, it will cost 300Baht, but they are not open for an hour. We can get a half hour massage for 200 Baht. Livonia doesn’t like the math involved in that equation, so she tells me that we can just do it another time. So we leave, and as we’re walking out, I’m still on the lookout for a foot massage. After all, my wife really needs a massage. I spot one just outside of Silom Village, so I convince Livonia to go and get one. Again, I do this for my wife’s sake. The massage I get is merely to occupy the time while I’m waiting for her to finish. Again I ask, do you believe me?

After the massage, I ask my wife what she thought about the last part, where they apply pressure to your legs and then walk their hands from your shins to the top of your thighs. Livonia asked me what I was talking about. She said they never did that to her. Hmm… why did it only happen to me?

Road Trip, Out by 8…ish
As I mentioned in #016, we decide to go on a trip to Hua Hin. Wanphen also tells us about Don Hoilod (which I know I’m spelling wrong, but don’t care anymore). We begin the process of getting everything together so we can be on the road by 8am. I want to get an early start so we can have breakfast at Don Hoilod and lunch at Hua Hin. Yes, I am just as bad about being on a schedule when I’m vacation. I don’t care what you think; just shoot me. At 8am, no one is ready, so my panic sets in. I control it though, because I have learned that if I complain, it makes for an unhappy trip for all. The kids get edgy, Livonia is unhappy with me adding stress to our vacation, and it’s just plain bad. See how I learn over time? It only took about 5,000 previous times of me over-reacting to realize that. I can be taught. It just takes awhile.

Don Hoilod and the Open Sea
There is nothing quite so nice as driving down a road that is ending because you have reached the open sea. Do you agree? There’s something about seeing all that water that makes things seems so much nicer. This is the feeling I got as we went to Don Hoilod. We park the van near the waterfront and then starting walking along the shops nearby. Most all of them are cooking seafood or selling fresh seafood. Some of the stuff was pretty amazing to see. They had some rather large squid that they cooked up and placed on a stick. It was kind of like a corn dog, but with squid. Mmm.. that mental picture makes your mouth salivate, now doesn’t it? They also had many other dishes that were a little invading to the senses, but after a short period of time, I adjusted. Livonia and Nathan adjusted rather quickly, and started testing anything someone put in front of their faces. I have to admire the two of them. They ate things I wouldn’t dare smell. That means they will adjust to Thai food much faster than me. Oh well, more power to them. Where’s McDonalds?

One of the things Nathan ate was so strange, I could hardly stand it. There was this weird sea creature that looked like something an archaeologist may have dug up. It looked like it was nothing but the shell. Then, they cracked open the shell to expose what they called “eggs.” I don’t think it was “eggs.” From the location they were pointing at, I was thinking it more closely related to “brains.” I wasn’t going to touch that, but my son Nathan ate it like it was a bunch of “Nerds” candies. To quote Ace Ventura: Yummy! He continued to eat it, and I continued to stare at with blank face an utter amazement. How he could do that and not throw up is beyond me. I am thoroughly convinced that Fear Factor needs to have a kid version of the show. My son would dominate.

Before leaving Hua Hin, we stopped off at a Wat (temple) and took a few pictures. I would like to take my family to see as many Wats as we can on this trip. They are all quite beautiful to see. This one was a rather small one, and I was told by my driver that it was now a museum. At least, I think that’s what he said.

Welcome to Hua Hin
We finally arrive at Hua Hin, get our bags unloaded, walk into the condo, and it starts to rain. Not one to care much about whether or not I’m wet from the ocean or the sky, we change into some swimming shorts and head down to the beach. Apichai (Wanphen’s husband) informs us that this time of year the jellyfish population is very high, so we need to be careful when we’re out in the water. That’s enough information for me to realize that I won’t be “swimming” in as much as I’ll be “wading” in the water. We get to the beach and walk along the white sands. Wanphen tells me that the sands are a little gray now due to the rainy season, but will become bright white around November. I don’t care, it is still very, very soft. As we walk along the beach, we spot many dead jellyfish on the shore, and instruct the kids to stay away from them. I’m sure they are harmless once they’re dead, but I don’t know any better and don’t want to take any chances. We continue to walk along the shoreline, and the kids are wading in the water. We finally spotted a small jellyfish that was actually alive, so we watched it swim around, all the while keeping our distance. I found out later that jellyfish like to swim next to your stomach for some reason, and as long as you have something covering your stomach, you should be fine. You only get stung when they rub across bare skin. Good to know. I’m still keeping my distance. No use testing the waters on that one, right? I see many Thai children playing in the water. I’m sure my kids would like to do the same, but I don’t let them. Paranoia has already set in; it’s hopeless for them now.

We walked a little further and we passed by the hotel I stayed in on one of my previous trips there. I took the kids on a stroll through the grounds to show them all the really nice pools there. We rounded a corner and I spotted the dragon slide. It was a very tall water slide that had the head of a dragon at the end. It looked really, really cool. On my last (and only) trip to Hua Hin, I didn’t get a chance to use the slide. I decided to use it now. I take the kids and we head down the slide. We get to the bottom, and some of the hotel staff are waiting at the bottom.

“Excuse me sir, but are you a guest here?”

“Who
me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“No, actually I’m staying at a condo
right up the beach.”

“Sir, you cannot use the facilities if you are
not a guest here. If you choose to stay you need to pay 250 Baht per
person.”

“Oh, that’s okay. We’ll just leave.”

We left right after that. I didn’t mind. I did what I came to do. Livonia reminded me of the time when we were dating, and I snuck onto private property with her. I think we almost ended up in jail. I would tell you all about it, but this is Thailand Update, not an update on our past. Some other time...

Dinner and Shopping
We went back to the condo and swam at the pool there. The condo had three water slides and other things for the kids to play on, so we swam there for awhile. After some time, we got a little hungry, so we headed back up the condo to get ready for dinner.

Wanphen took us out to the restaurant I had gone to last time. It was a very nice restaurant on the hillside overlooking the bay area. Very nice and romantic, although eating with our kids kind of stole the romance of the moment. Oh well, another time. I was feeling a little bold, so I ordered one of the hot dishes I had when I was at lunch, Pet Kee Mahw. This is where I learned that Pet Kee Mahw has different levels of heat, depending on where you eat it. At Hua Hin, the heat level is nuclear. I took a few bites, showing off to my wife at my ability to eat chilis, and then realized I was in over my head. The chilis on this dish were so hot that my breath could have been used to reshape metal. I could have used it as a torch to weld joints together. The volcanic eruption in my mouth made me realize that I wasn’t going to finish this meal. Oh look, fried rice. Mmm… much better.

After dinner, we went shopping at the Hua Hin Night Market. It was very similar to other markets we have been to. There were lots of people, it was very crowded, and it sold pretty much anything you could think of. One thing that will stick in my head is the Holy Cross Esaiah found. Esaiah spotted a section of necklaces that had many varieties of the Holy Cross. Esaiah already has a cross that his Nana Karen bought for him, but you can never get enough of those, right? He was looking around at ones he liked, and then Apichai walked over and helped him find a good one. Once Esaiah and Apichai found one that was acceptable, Apichai bought it for Esaiah. I was very impressed. We ended shopping by heading over to Swensens for some ice cream, and then headed back to the condo to get a little sleep.

Early morning stroll
The next morning, I wake up at 6AM, ready to stroll the beach. Those who know my wife know that her interest in joining me that early was less than zero. I woke up my son Nathan, who said he wanted to go, and then changed his mind at the last minute. I woke up Christian, and he and I walked down to beach. Christian always was my favorite (just kidding, all you parents out there).

As we are walking along the beach, several monks pass by. Most of them were carrying a vase under their robes. I’m really not sure why, but it was neat to watch them all pass by. I put on my “tourist hat” and snapped off a couple of photos. Sorry, but it was interesting. I had to take a quick shot.

We walked along the beach because in the early morning all the little sand crabs are supposed to be milling around. True to form, there they were. The beach was literally covered by them. Holes EVERYWHERE! It was neat. As we walked, we saw many crabs scurry back into their holes. Christian was actually very civilized around them as well. I was fully expecting the boy in him to erupt and to start seeing crab body parts all over the place. He did good.

We walked a little further and actually found a big crab. Now, this was interesting. I had never seen a big crab up close before. Well, I have, but only just prior to it’s untimely demise in my cooking pot. Visions of this crab landing in my pot danced in my head.

We headed back up the to the condo and helped everyone get ready to leave. We needed to get back to Bangkok so Livonia and I would have time to shop for our next vacation. Eh? Vacation you say? Read on, and I’ll tell you all about it.

Shopping for Paradise
We met up with Kannitha and her husband Chang after we got back into Bangkok. The sole purpose of getting together was to setup a vacation for the family. Kannitha had heard about this four day expo at a very large convention center, so we took the opportunity to see what we could see. We left the kids with Boonchan and headed into the expo.

Planning a vacation in Thailand is a bit like trying to pick out whether this version of paradise is as nice as that version of paradise. Everywhere we looked, we saw beautiful white sands, crystal clear blue water, vibrant undersea life, private bungalows, catered meals, etc., etc., etc. How do you choose the best one? Is there such a thing as a “best one?”

The nice thing about the expo is that its sole purpose was to get people to see “unseen Thailand.” There were many places I hadn’t heard of, along with a few familiar ones. We grabbed a few flyers (in Thai), had Kannitha translate a few things for us so we understood prices, and continued on our way. And then I saw it. It was a big wall mural of a cave. It had an opening in the top of the cave, with rays of light shining down on the water below. All around the cave were tropical trees, which made the water look green. The entire cave was green. Inside the cave were two people, looking up at the hole at the top. It was secluded and beautiful. It was the Emerald Cave.

I stopped and talked to the guy working the booth, who informed me the cave was on Koh Mook (Koh=island, Mook=Oyster). The package he offered would involve picking us up at the Trang airport, and transporting us to the harbor nearby. From there, we would take a speedboat to Koh Mook and stay in our own private bungalows. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are all included; the only thing we need to buy is whatever alcohol we want. We can also go fishing off the boat, and the cook will prepare whatever we catch. The package also includes a trip on the boat to the other side of the island to see the Emerald Cave, as well as a tour of the island and snorkeling along the coral reef. How much for such a fabulous package? For all five of us, it will cost $165/day. Can you believe that? Man, I love this place! We booked our vacation on the spot. After the weekend of October 21-24, you’ll hear all about it.

Now having the vacation figured out, we wander around and look at what else Thailand has to offer. So many wonderful places to see. It was hard not to stop at everything. We found a couple other things for the kids as well. We bought tickets for Safari World, which is a San Diego Zoo sort of affair, only you drive your vehicle through the zoo. The only thing separating you from the animals is the car your driving. Not too bad, huh? Safari World also has many shows to watch, which makes it very entertaining. They have an Old West show, where Thais dress up like cowboys and demolish a town. They also have an orangutan boxing show that has animal activists up in arms from all over the world. There are seven shows in all. If I sound like I know too much about this place, it’s because I’ve been there before. When I went, the tickets were about 800 Baht, but at the expo they were only 285 Baht. I made sure to check whether or not this included “Farangs,” and was told the price was for everyone.

We also spotted another place where the animals are the main attraction. This place was primarily dealing with tigers. If you bought tickets at the expo, they were only 60 Baht. Otherwise, you had to pay 100 Baht at the gate. I asked them about the “Farang” price and they said it was 300 Baht. Hmm… only five times as high. No thanks.

We passed by another booth and there were a couple of ladyboys standing in front of it, all decked out in full glam apparel, advertising a cabaret. If I have not explained ladyboys to you yet, let me take a little tangent and do that. A ladyboy is a man dressed up as a woman. Sometimes, it is painfully obvious when men do this, but most of the time, you cannot tell the difference between a ladyboy and Thai woman. They look that convincing. A guy I know once told me that ladyboys actually look more attractive than a lot of females, because they spend so much time on outward appearance. At any rate, there were two of them standing in front of this booth for a cabaret. They did not fit in either category (painfully obvious or cannot tell). I made the mistake as we walked by to point at the video they were showing of the cabaret, since it had a lot of flash and lights. Once I made that connection, they came over to me and started telling me all about the amazing show they were offering, and as such a cheap price too! I smiled and let them keep talking, and Livonia listened for a minute (okay, maybe 30 seconds), and then motioned me to cut them off. I tell them “Mai Kaap, khob Khun Kaap” (No thanks) and tell them to stop talking. I point to my wife who informs them that she’s the only dancer I need to see. They smile in acknowledgement and let us walk away.

Tired and Hungry
By now, we are weary from the long trip back to Bangkok and the hours spent walking through the expo. We are also getting hungry, so now the battle over what we get to eat ensues. It seems like a pretty good bet if I said that my kids would eat pizza for every meal, and the request at this meal was no different. Since we were already downtown, we once again head for Siam Center and see what they have to offer. We get out of the van and notice there is another event in the square. It seems there is always something going on each weekend. This weekend, it seemed to be a video game challenge. We walked by a humongous jumbotron of a video game that was blasting deafening music. I could actually feel the pressure of the music as it pushed against my eardrums. We start to look around for food, and I spot a restaurant that seems to make sense to me. It was called the “4 in 1.” It served Chinese, Japanese, Thai, and Italian. Interesting combination, but it appeared to have everything we were looking for. Esaiah wanted seafood, Livonia wanted Thai, I wanted sushi, and the boys wanted (can you guess) pizza. This place will fit the bill just fine. We get in the elevator and head to the sixth floor.

EGV and The Attack of the Killer Children
On the way to “4 in 1,” we pass through the EGV, or the movie theatre. At the movie theatre, they have a place to buy current DVDs, VCDs, and CVDs. I can’t buy DVDs here, because they’re region 3, which means they won’t work in my laptop and they won’t work once I get back to the USA (the USA is region 1). My only option is VCD or CVD. This is fine with me, because both of these options are far cheaper than DVDs. I look at a couple of movie titles, deciding to buy a couple to test out the picture quality. One of the movies I find is the Passion of the Christ. The man at the movie shop assures me the movie is in English, which I find rather fascinating when I consider the version released in the US wasn’t in English. Hmm, this should be interesting. I pick up a copy of that one. I peruse other titles in the lineup to see if there might be something else we may find interest in. Ah yes, the Cat in the Hat. Something good for the kids. I hand it to the man, who informs me that Cat in the Hat is only in Thai, but he will look for an English version. He and his counterpart start their search. While I’m waiting, my wife flags me down to have me look at the movie currently on display in the shop. Well, would you look at that. Why, it’s a woman completely covered in blood, running from a man I have to assume is her husband or boyfriend. He too, is also covered in blood, and seems to be chasing her in an apparent attempt at removing her capacity to sustain life. How intriguing. I look over at the wide, bright eyes of children, who seem captivated at the action on the screen. I pause for a millisecond, and then tell my wife, quick as she can, to divert their eyes to something else. Meanwhile, the guys who are looking for Cat in the Hat are still on the hunt, and have now left their store and are looking elsewhere. My kids seem to have lost their ability to not look at the screen, and any amount of diversion my wife provides is futile. They cannot stop watching this movie. The Cat in the Hat is becoming less important of a purchase now, so I ask the lady if the last installment of Lord of the Rings is in English. “Yes,” I am told, so I quickly add that to my Passion of the Christ video, and we’re off to eat.

I find out at dinner that the part Livonia and the kids saw of the movie is the part where the cute little girl of this mom and dad comes home to greet her parents, and then proceeds to remove a rather large “chunk” of her dad’s neck with her teeth. This of course, turned the dad into whatever “thing” the girl had become, and the dad wanted to pass on this transformation to his unsuspecting wife. You know, doing his duty as a father to keep the family unit together. I’m glad my kids left the mall with that embedded in their minds. It made me wonder about what kids are allowed to watch here, but then I default you back to a previous post where we attempted to watch a family movie, and the choice given to me was “Alien v. Predator.” Ah yes, fun for the whole family.

Weighing In at xxx Kilos…
So tomorrow I will most likely find out that I’m buying lunch again. You cannot go an entire weekend of gorging yourself and expect to win a contest focused on the exact opposite activity. As I said before, I would rather lose the contest each week rather than save 260 Baht. I know, I know, I have told you many times that I am competitive by nature, but food is much more important to me than that. I’ll let you know how bad the weekend was for my waistline. I’m sure it can’t be too good.

Since it is now late at work (past 6pm) and I’m trying to go home, I can at least give you the update on my weight. Last week, I was 78.0 kilos. This week, I’m 7.6 kilos. I did not lose this week. Free lunch for me!

Until next time…